Feeling Stuck? How to Start Anew or Start Again

November 11, 2013  |  Behavior Change, Getting Started  |  Share
Feeling Stuck? How to Start Anew or Start Again

My dearest Fibromyalgia Companions, I don’t know if you’ve noticed (probably not because I don’t think anyone’s still tuning in), but I haven’t posted in a while. The reason is not very good, really, but at the same time, it’s kind of interesting. You ready for it? I’ve hit a dry spell. I’ve been uninspired. Feeling stuck. Wanting to write but having nothing to say. Not feeling like writing, period. Falling out of my routine. Not using my time wisely. Being afraid to start writing again. Not appreciating those of you who may actually miss getting a little email in your inbox that there’s something new to read. So, right, a terrible reason or reasons, plural, since I just listed more than one and have about eleventy thousand more to go.

Why is it interesting? Because it speaks to all of the things I’ve encouraged YOU to overcome in your efforts to manage your fibromyalgia.

Nothing like a taste of your own medicine every now and then and finding out it’s not remotely bubble gum flavored. Ick.

This is exactly the sort of thing that everyone struggles with at some point: the dry spell, this feeling stuck. If I knew how to not struggle with it, we’d all be very productive, happy people. That, and I’d be a bazillionaire. But of course, none of this is the case.

How do you stop feeling stuck and start something new (or again)?

In the context of this blog, your “something” could be physical activity or behavioral changes or fun, leisurely activities that you put aside long ago, or even going to see a doctor for nagging symptoms; but really, it could apply to anything in your life that you’ve been wanting to start or get back to doing but just haven’t — and might even be resisting.

So, back to the question – how do you stop feeling stuck and get yourself going? In the simplest of terms, you just decide one day.

Of course, it is a little more complicated than that: you may well have barriers, real or perceived, to getting going. Those barriers can be monumental, like financial hurdles, medical issues, family needs and the like. Or they can be comparatively smaller like your general mindset, time management, the weather, or a host of insidious thoughts that creep in to thwart your best efforts (ugh, it’s like I’m talking to myself.)

Once you identify the barrier (or someone helps you identify it), it is up to you to overcome it and start turning “one day” into today. Somehow. Some way.

No, seriously, how do I stop feeling stuck?

Not happy with my simplistic suggestion of “you just decide”?

You have to want it; in other words, overcoming a barrier has to be meaningful for you in some way or you won’t be motivated to overcome it. Then you have to put in the time and effort. Gah! If only it were easier….

At the risk of going all psychology on you, your self-talk must be positive. Negative self-talk, alone, can stymy you more than the most formidable barriers. Do you defeat yourself? What is your fear? What are the reasons (excuses??) you tell yourself? Do you resign yourself to your fate or your pain? The power of positive thinking is not a myth, but it takes effort especially if you are not inclined toward positivity or are in a negative headspace at present.

Or what about no talk? Do you just completely avoid thinking about certain things altogether? Sweeping under the rug is ok for when the company comes over, but it’s not a good way to keep your house clean over the long haul, right? (Right, you say.) Avoidance can have a negative impact on your physical health as much as your psychological health, for example, by exacerbating the symptoms, like pain or poor sleep, that you are trying so hard to manage.

I can’t say enough about having a good support system. This, too, can make or break your efforts. When you are feeling stuck enough on your own, the last thing you need is for the people around you to be negative, selfish, or otherwise lacking in understanding. Surround yourself with positive people and you will find yourself feeling more positive or at least buoyed until you can get there yourself.

Taking My Own Medicine

In neglecting to write blog posts and pay attention to my facebook page these last few months, I’m definitely guilty of feeling stuck, of avoidance and under-rug sweeping (yielding anxiety), fear of failure (yielding, well, failure), feeling like I’m letting readers down by neglecting to post (because, in fact, I am letting them down) and letting myself down.

Thankfully, my awesome support system – my hubby, family and friends – has continued to encourage me even when I haven’t been able to encourage myself. So, after much ruminating, self-chastising and all around beating myself up, today became my day to start again. It’s been brewing for a while, but in the end, I just decided. Will it stick? Time and future self-talk will tell.

Make today your day, too.

How do you get out of feeling stuck? Are you a negative self-talker, positive self-talker or an avoidance pro? Is today your day to get going?

[photo: flickr]

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    8 Comments


    1. Thank you for this post. I too am guilty of being stuck. It’s impossible to get moving before noon, even though I wake around 7. Fibro pain, weak muscles, meds, and the short, cold & wet days all play a part. Every night I vow to get up early & do stuff, & still I’m stuck. Too much to do & I don’t know how or where to start!

      • Hi Mary Sue

        I can so relate to your nightly vows to do stuff in the morning…followed by the morning’s angst when you do none of it. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed when, like you say, you have too much to do and don’t know where to start. One thing that works for me is to break up all that stuff into smaller, manageable bits. I’ve been avoiding a spare bedroom full of junk, clothes, unpacked boxes (from, um, 5 years ago when we moved in) because it’s overwhelmed me. Just this weekend, I focused on clothes only, nothing else. Not only did I successfully tackle the clothes, but I made a whopping trip to Goodwill which helped me feel a little extra awesome. One step. Next weekend, the boxes. Before long, the whole room will be done. At long last.

        Just pick one do-able thing and tackle it (at your own pace and with breaks, of course. No fibro flares for this effort, please.) Amazing what a little bit of progress will do for your motivation and all around feel good. Good luck!
        kirsten
        kirsten recently posted..Feeling Stuck? How to Start Anew or Start AgainMy Profile

    2. Timely post for me, too! We are (as you know!) recently home from a long trip and the post-vacation let down was a real deal. Back to reality! Great post. Hugs. Talk soon.

      • Hi Anne!

        Weird and awesome to see you here! Thanks for chiming in. I can’t wait to hear about your big adventure! I totally understand the post-vacation blues. I suffered from the post-wedding blues this summer then was saved by our own fabulous vacation in September…after which, I got the post-vacation blues, which, of course, morphed into the danger zone that is “what the heck am I doing with my life” because a perfectly good molehill isn’t all that exciting unless you can make a whole mountain out of it. 😛 Hence, my feeling stuck. Sometimes just talking about it helps, especially when you find out you’re not the only one feeling that way! Good luck and chat soon!
        kirsten

    3. Thanks for your post. It is an encouragement to know that I’m not alone in all of the struggles that you mention. Guilt. False Guilt! Exhaustion, pain, the fear of failure… and on and on. I’m not alone in this? I’m not alone in this.

    4. Thanks so much for your timely post. All that you have said is very true and lots of us have to deal with that “stuck” feeling-especially me. Summer is over for this year, the time when I am up early with the sun,looking forward to all my golf friends and exercise. Living with cloudy days, minimal sunshine and cold, snowy days of winter is a downer. After reading your message, I am ready for an encouraging, uplifting talk with myself to create my own sunshine. Plus, sharing fun times with my family for Christmas will be a huge boost. Thanks again for your post. All of your messages inspire me.

    5. Hey Kristen,

      I was pretty stuck – 2-3 months? – when I was supposed to be writing my book. I got unstuck this holiday. For me it was two things, one big and one small. THE BIG thing was acknowledging and accepting the reason I didn’t want to work on it. Namely paralyzing fear of public failure and abject humiliation. That hasn’t gone away by any means. But somehow putting a name to it and accepting that it exists made it…liveable?

      So I’m back on the writing bus. The second thing that helped me was this $10 software that locks me out of the internet for a set period of time. So no more diddling when I’m supposed to be working 😉

      Hope you find your mojo back soon!
      Alexis recently posted..The Best Christmas Book of 2013My Profile

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